My Role to become a role model.

Chapter 2: Day in the life…

“Hey Dan, can you get me a light bulb?”

“Yeah where are they?”

“In the living room, in one of those boxes.”

Where? What The duck….aghh ducking iPhone….fuck box is she talking about? There’s no boxes even in here!

“Which box?”

“I don’t know Dan! You just have to look!”

Literally every single time my beautiful, strong, bril… shes not here anymore? No? Ok, “Charlie Brown Yell” WIFE, that knows she asking me a to do a task that WE both know is 89% not going to end well. The percentage was in the 70’s but have had a few good years…so it makes more sense and saves more time and frustration if you just come and get it. We can save so much time for activities in “Will Ferrell” voice.

Why am I saying this? I don’t know, but I’m struggling to understand what my Role is besides making the kids laugh, doing rote chores or teach the kids a new curse or two, definitely one curse is in Spanish (I’m pretty good speaking at Spanish). But for who as someone would consider themselves a “GOOD” Dad what is my role? 

Everyone think being a dad is the easiest job in the world and you are prolly right, but when you really try to delve into the actual role of a dad, Im no where near it. I mean externally at least.

Ima read your mind right now! You’re saying…. “I’m a good mother ducking dad! My role is Protection! No one will ever hurt my wife and kids. Id die and kill anyone for them!” 

OK, ima read your mind one more time….! The 2nd thing that you are thinking is…………………………………………………………… I can fix almost anything.! Or I make a mean grilled cheese!  I can quote EVERY Chapelle Show EVER! 

Dude, that’s sad. 

Like how can us guys go from, prolly a pretty cool dude that everyone knew at the bar and was always down to go to a Yankee Game. Why because you could. Drink your face off and go to work the next day. To a “No I’ll put the kids to bed, you finish up the rest of this Episode of 90 Day Fiance…..Low sigh…….”ACTUALLY! You know WHAT WOMAN!!!? CRAZY EYES

“PAUSE THAT SHIT!!! I don’t want to miss this!” Checking locks every single time you pass an outside door, seeing something you need to fix, that you will pass thousands of times over the next year. Until something breaks near it and now your wife notices and now you to fix second problem and then make up a reason why now you need another piece or drill bit and have to go to Home Depot, and lose then next 2 hours walking down the same 2 aisles, knowing item is there. But not willing to ask the Young cutish team member, because you don’t want to come off as unmanly or feel like she’s gonna think you are hitting on her. 

Sorry that was my ADHD kicking in, going on about something and losing track. But seriously we were a D2 baseball player! Used to get all the girls. Dude we were awesome! 

What happened to us? Hero to ducking zero.

Back to my first situation noted, the hide and seek with my wife and that ducking bulb (that you ultimately found in a decorative end table pick up truck. Kinda near where you wife said it would be. So you get pissed off at her and then mad at your self) made me realize some thing. Even though this happens daily for the last 10ish yrs since we started living with eachother! 

THIS IS OUR JOB!